Eilidh’s journey with Venture Scotland is a powerful testament to courage and growth. After facing the challenges of navigating life, including struggles with school and confidence, Eilidh joined the programme in search of a place where she could belong and thrive. Through outdoor adventures and the unwavering support of her group, she discovered newfound confidence, forged meaningful friendships, and embraced her love for the outdoors. Read on to hear Eilidh’s story…
My name is Eilidh. I am 19 and I am autistic.
I can remember my first visit to the Venture Scotland Offices, it was in 2022. I was too scared to touch the doorbell, nearly threw up and nearly ran away!
I found out about Venture Scotland after I left school early. It sounded amazing that the course would last around a year, especially because I have always liked being outdoors and camping.
I first left school when I was 14, because I couldn’t bring myself to go to school. I went back to a different school with extra support and left when I had just turned 16. I couldn’t face school because I couldn’t fit in. I was laughed at, pushed around and I was very lonely. I was never identified at school as being autistic – it was only emergency psychiatric care and a very kind support worker who suggested this might be the case. At my lowest points, I have been in bed for days in a row. I was very closed off in the world and it felt like I had a brick on me. I was clinically depressed.
You might not believe that I used to swim for my school and play hockey for my school. I medalled at judo nationals at academy level. I played rugby on the national pathway and played tennis for East of Scotland. And I was a pretty good goalkeeper.
I’m only telling you this because not feeling confident or included wears you down to the point where you don’t believe you can do the smallest things in life.
It turns out I did not need to be scared of ringing that doorbell.
I am really lucky in some ways to have done two bits of Venture Scotland! I completed 3 out of 4 sections of the programme before my mental health hit another very low point. But VS welcomed me back with open arms when I was ready to return.
One of the best things is that before you start you do an ‘onboarding’ process. So you meet just one person at first to find out whether the programme is right for you. You then have a few more meetings and get used to the building before being introduced to the rest of your group. I was made to feel instantly welcome and my confidence has grown and grown.
I was scared on the first day of meeting the group. I didn’t want to talk to anyone and tried to hide. But the meetings beforehand had helped. As the first weekend went on, I began to chat and to realise that everyone was being kind to me. Before I knew it, we were becoming friends.
I have got so many highlights, like annoying Dan and having good laughs along the way. The Challenge Week camp, all the way back at the start of my first course was something I didn’t ever think I would be able to do. I thought it might be like school trips – being left out and exhausting myself trying to fit in. But of course it wasn’t.
With my new group, when we went away to the cabin in West Lothian. It was so much fun. And who knew about campfire cones?? Wow – they are delicious! I got such enjoyment from playing Chasm Pass and had so much fun. I trusted this group.
Another highlight was weaselling – that doesn’t mean hunting weasels! It was so beautiful. However, I will skip over the fact that I fell off a rock, hurt myself and didn’t finish. This made me very cross with myself but also realised that everyone was there for me and helped me get home. I was even given my own walking pole.
My favourite activity has been paddleboarding and I am lucky to have done it twice! The first time, I had a panic attack. Mo was there to help calm me down and made me realise there was nothing to be scared about. I went out onto the water and had the best time. The second time I realised how much my trust and confidence had grown. It has made me realise that I have a real love of watersports.
I’m incredibly proud that my rock climbing has improved! On some of the VS promotional material, you can see me looking very scared before climbing up at Blackford Hill for the first time. Everyone has helped me get better at it, especially Penny (volunteer) who has been a massive part of my journey from the very start, so I owe her a lot.
We went on a bivvying trip to Tyninghame Bay. I hated the bivi bag! I like camping but this made me feel claustrophobic. But despite this and despite having forgotten my fluffy socks to keep my feet warm, that evening was one of the most special nights I have ever had. Down on the sand with the fire, the sounds of the sea, our bolognese and the good chat. I felt so happy and I look so happy in the photos. It was amazing!
On our VS trips, there is no tech, and this is a really good thing. We play games like polar bears, spoons, art gallery, uno and more. We have downtime and talk a lot. I have made friends who I hope will be friends for life.
I want to say something about Etive. The bothy in Glen Etive is the heart of VS and has captured my heart. However, it also has lots of very, very boggy bogs. On my first walk across the bog, I was shaking and panicky and at the end of the walk, my welly came off. It might not sound a big deal but it was to me. I was crying and scared to walk back over to get food the next day, but with everyone’s support, I overcame my fear. On my visit two weeks ago, I strode with confidence across the bog and didn’t need someone to help me make every step – even the midgies didn’t stop me!
Glen Etive is magic. However much you hear about the magic, you will never understand it unless you experience it yourself.
More than anything else, Venture Scotland has given me back my confidence. I now commute by bus without thinking. I’m not as scared to talk to people. I have completed a week’s sailing course and have been sailing with Autism on the Water because I have had the confidence to do it!
For me, the next steps are about continuing to not be afraid to ask for help, knowing people will accept me for who I am.
I want to say a huge thank you to absolutely everyone who has been on this journey with me. VS, staff and volunteers will always be in my heart. I could talk about everyone forever. I already tell everyone I meet about VS.