Nearly 20 years ago, Amber joined the Venture Scotland programme and the impact has lasted a lifetime. In this powerful reflection, she shares memories of setting up tents on Arthur’s Seat, canoeing solo down Loch Etive, and learning what it truly means to persevere. From overcoming mental health struggles to finding joy in the outdoors again, her story is a powerful reminder of how Venture Scotland can completely change a life.
20 years ago, before Venture Scotland, I wanted to transition, but I was absolutely terrified of coming out, and I had been told by family members that they would disown me. So, you know how that goes – I kept it to myself, I tried to be something I wasn’t, but I had also just left foster care, so it was the first time I had proper freedom as an adult.
The freedom felt great, but I wasn’t doing very well on my own. Back then, when you came out of foster care, there was some support, and the support that I did have was fantastic, but it wasn’t enough. It’s nowhere near enough. I was only 19. I was still coming to grips with the fact that I was an adult now, and I got to do what I wanted. My mental health wasn’t good; I had tried to commit suicide four times. And just after I left care, I found out that my biological father had taken his own life before I got a chance to meet him. It was a lot.
I joined Barnardo’s 16+, who took a group of us who had been in foster care on a residential down to the lovely people in Penrith at Outward Bound, and I loved that week so much. I said to my support workers, ‘I want to do this more often!’ and he spoke with the Outward Bound staff and they said, ‘Go to Venture Scotland and they’ll take care of you.’
I joined the programme nearly 20 years ago, and if I remember rightly, every Tuesday and Thursday, we would meet to either discuss what we’re going to do for the next few weeks, or we’d do an activity. Sometimes we’d meet in the evenings and go up Arthur’s Seat to practice setting up tents in a safer environment, rather than being in the middle of nowhere, and somebody goes, “I don’t know where anyone is, my head torch is lost!”
We also went on a three-day trip to Glen Etive to get used to being up there, and then we went on a five-day trip. We did lots of hill walking and conservation, and we did a lot of canoeing. I loved canoeing so much; I still think about the time we got to canoe down Loch Etive. It’s probably up there as my best experience at VS; canoeing solo down Loch Etive and camping overnight, then the next day jumping back into the canoe and going all the way down towards the sea.
If I had the opportunity again, I’d jump at it – I may be broken. I may have fibromyalgia. I may have sciatica. I may have 101 different things broken with me. But put me in a canoe and I’ll be happy again!
If it wasn’t for VS, I probably wouldn’t be in any leadership roles that I’m in today. I run my own business, and a Facebook group with over 4000 people in it, and I hold roles in politics. VS gave me leadership skills that I didn’t have before.
VS gives you perseverance in abundance. You were put into positions where young people say: ‘I want to go home’ and Venture Scotland would say “Okay, it’s 11pm, it’s dark, and the bus is 2 miles away, so what can we do to make tonight more comfortable?” You’re put into positions where you can’t snap your fingers and return home, where you have to think of the others in your group, and the practicalities – you’ve got to do the work to be able to go home. It made me so resilient, and I’m always able to persevere; it’s unreal. That plays a role in the work I do in politics, and I think finding my voice has been a big part of that.
My time with VS gave me a lot of confidence, and although it’s been shaken over the years by many different things, a huge part of being as confident as I am today is down to VS. The experience is different because most other groups try and mold you to be the perfect citizen, whereas VS says, “We’re not perfect. You’re going to **** up. We want you to, because then we can teach you how to avoid this in future.”
That’s what VS does for you. You go to Venture Scotland, you change. People don’t believe it until they’ve done it. By the end of this programme, you’ll be a completely different person. It’s nice to see that people have had similar experiences that I have of their life being changed completely just from six months of experiencing the outdoors.
My mental health has changed a lot, for the better. I had tried to commit suicide before coming to Venture Scotland, but afterwards, I didn’t try again.
After I finished up with VS and I bought lots of camping stuff, and I still try and go camping whenever I can. I’m married now; I got married in 2019. I am super, super happy now. I just wish more people could benefit – I know so many people who would benefit from the Venture Scotland programme – if I could speak to someone who was a billionaire, I’d say, “give them a million bucks, trust me, give them £1,000,000. They will move mountains, give them a blank cheque. They need it. They deserve it. Trust me.”