Iain came to Venture Scotland following a career in the armed services, from which he developed complex PTSD and, subsequently, a heroin addiction after receiving inadequate support whilst in crisis.
I was in recovery and having a few problems. I was maintaining myself in my recovery, and I wanted to take the next step. I wasn’t working, and I lost a lot of confidence; I lost my self-worth, and I was also having mental health challenges. I heard about Venture Scotland and looked into their programme, and everything I saw, I absolutely loved. I loved the idea of using the outdoors to help give people the tools to better themselves. I’ve always had a love of the outdoors, and I used to do a lot of hill walking, so it seemed like the perfect fit for me.
On the very first day, the staff were very warm and welcoming. I can be quite an anxious person, so that really put me at ease. I never knew anybody in that room, and it was one of the first times I’d been in that kind of situation, meeting a lot of new people. I was quite challenged, but Venture Scotland made it very easy for me. That gave me confidence, I felt like I could open up and, slowly but surely, I started making friends.
Doing activities started to bring back things I’ve always loved. I started remembering who I used to be, and I started coming back to myself. It really hit the mark when we went away for our first bothy trip, that’s when I started realising I was a valued member of the team. When we were all together and working together, the skills that I have, the person I am, the good parts of my personality came out. People noticed it and were commenting on it, which made me very happy. It had been a long time since I felt that kind of gratitude, along with the confidence and encouragement to let that side of myself come out. l felt confident to actually start showing my vulnerabilities as well, and from that I was able to build relationships with everybody in the team.
It was so beneficial because, for a long time, I just had negative thoughts and felt bad. I felt a real value, a good integral part of the group. We all brought our own personalities to the table, and I think that’s what made us a great group. By the time we got to the last bothy trip, everybody was free and open. I felt able to let my guard fully down. People listened to my personal story and difficulties and things I’ve been overcoming, and that helped me move on. At the end of the course, I was a changed person; or not a changed person, but I was now back to being myself and I felt of value.
One of the best experiences was on the first bothy trip when we did a hill walk. Everyone’s abilities were at such different levels, but we did it all together. It was great seeing how proud everyone was. From that point on, everybody became more open.
It was challenging to let myself be vulnerable in the group. I always overanalyse, overthink. In the beginning, I kept myself back, maybe a wee bit closed off. But once I opened up, it was hard to stop, to be honest. I loved everything that we did with Venture Scotland.
Straight after the course, I reached out to friends that I’d let fall away. That happens with addiction. Venture Scotland gave me the courage and self-worth to go back and seek out these relationships. And my family as well, they could see I’d taken that next step with my life. Beforehand, I felt I was just treading water, and I wasn’t moving forward at all. By the end of Venture Scotland, I had the courage to start looking forward. I’ve started going back out hill walking with friends, and going back out with my tent as well.
I got accepted onto a COSCA counselling skills course, which is amazing. I want to do more volunteering, but my ultimate goal is to get back into full-time employment. I’m so ready. I would like to do something that gives back. What I’ve been through in this course, I’d love to be that person that I needed for someone else. With Venture Scotland, I was encouraged to be myself, and that’s what I loved about it.
I’m forever grateful to Venture Scotland.
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